Saturday 10th, July 2021 was a sad day. My day started at 2:00 am. For some inexplicable reason, I struggled to find sleep. Giving up, I woke up,

Aunt Jolly in her Youth

Saturday 10th, July 2021 was a sad day. My day started at 2:00 am. For some inexplicable reason, I struggled to find sleep. Giving up, I woke up, prayed and by 2:59 am I was journaling. 40 minutes later, I tried to sleep again however by 5:30 am I was up. I woke up from a dream about my aunt, Jolly. In the dream, I was at her funeral attentively looking at the photo on the front side of her casket. I recall hearing a voice telling me to focus on God rather than what was going on. Shaken, I woke up from the dream prayed and reminded myself that the promises of the Lord were ‘yes and Amen’ and believed she was not going to die. On top of this I knew that Aunt Jolly was a fighter and a brave woman. For a bigger part of her life she had fought many illnesses. Aunt Jolly was many things. She was a lover of God, an entrepreneur, a people person and a mother who counseled many people.

As fate would have it, I got a phone call at about 10:00 am informing me that my aunt had passed on. My heart sunk… I didn’t know what to think at that moment! I wished it was a lie!! I had honestly believed that the Lord would add her more days on earth. As a family we had been praying persistently… for a miracle for she had suffered for a long time. I remember the Sunday morning, a week before her passing, waking up with her on my mind. My heart was unsettled and so I decided to give her a call. Little did I know that that would be the last time I spoke to her. She sounded so weak and I got scared! In fact, later that day she was taken to Hospital and admitted as the situation worsened. She was diagnosed with Covid-19 and immediately had to be put on oxygen support. To say that this news was heartbreaking is an understatement… I felt helpless for I could not go and see her and physically support my family due to the imposed lock down! All I could do was keep in touch with my family for information about her progress. After a day or two I texted her this verse; Isaiah 53:5. “…………..We are healed by the punishment he suffered, made whole by the blows he received.”  I believed that the promise in this Word would heal her. I am not sure if she got to read it but nevertheless, I still believed that God would heal her.

For three days, we got encouraging news that she was improving. My hope was refueled. I believed more and more that she would make it through. However, on Friday I was told that her condition had worsened. My heart almost popped out of my chest … and still I couldn’t go to see her for lack of transport means … all I could do was pray and avoid thoughts of death. I brushed them off as much as possible. All through this experience God was near. I remember during one of my prayer sessions a voice whispering to me “I will make a way” and “Victory.”  At the time I had thought that death was surely not an option plus it contradicted the dream that I later had that night. Could that dream have come from God? Surely God wasn’t telling me that she had passed on. He was telling me to cancel the plans of the enemy… that is what I thought and indeed I prayed cancelling the plans of the enemy.

A few hours later, the news reached me that Aunt Jolly had passed on. Saturday 10th July 2021 turned out to be a really sad day. I finally broke down into tears… I kept asking God Why He did not answer our prayers. Why He did not let her witness the beautiful things she wished for me? I had not experienced the loss of an immediate family member in my adulthood. This kind of loss had last happened in 2002 when Dr. Aggrey; my Aunt’s husband passed on.

John 14: 28 states” You heard me say to you, “I am leaving you”, if you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father; for he is greater than I.” For obvious reasons, the disciples were not happy that their Master, Jesus, was leaving them. Yet Jesus expected them to be happy for him since he was going to the one greater than him and in that way they too would begin their ministry… This scripture gave me strength. It changed my mindset about how to deal with death of my Aunt. I said to myself “It is better for her to rest in heaven than be in this world of troubles. Besides if God needed her to continue living he would have done something miraculous”. Like the disciples, I did not want to lose my person and at first it was difficult to see the good in this situation. Aunt Jolly had suffered for a long time and now she was free from that pain at last… Matthew 5:4 says “Happy are those who mourn; God will comfort them.” I was reminded not to mourn forever but rather rejoice because she is in a better place, Heaven, as she had given her life to Christ and lived faithfully to that cause. More so, in my dream I believe that God had cautioned me to focus on Him and not the deceased. This always encourages me when sad memories overwhelm me. Aunt Jolly, you will be dearly missed. I will miss your smile, kindness, warmth, reminders to pray and love. May your soul join the angels in heaven to praise God! I will forever rejoice and be glad until we meet again!

Author: ayebaleangel



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